Whose experience matters most?

discipline Sep 29, 2018
 

I was three years old and it changed the way I thought and felt about myself. 

It's a moment that shows the impact of a parent misunderstanding the needs of a child. More specifically my parents misreading my behavior. 

There are some tears, this is a vulnerable share for me. 

The reason for the share is summed up with the question, "What experience is my child having at this moment?"

It's not about the experience you're observing your child have, but the experience your child is having.

When you're in the perspective of the child and communicate from where they are, instead of where you are, you have more influence.  

One last thing- it's not about perfection. You're going to miss the mark sometimes. But when you do, the repair happens when you hear and understand the experience your child is having versus trying to get your child to understand the experience you're having.

Do you have a similar story? A moment when you needed something you didn't get or when your parent totally misread your experience. 

I'd love to hear your story. Share it in the comments or email me.

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